Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, annoying human.

Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon created Africa seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon, it will turn you into a duck.

Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat cherries.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Worship no other gods but Dumpidmid Narlstigbapkon.