Spagvigven is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely thin, unselfish scorpion.

Spagvigven created the Black Eye Galaxy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Spagvigven, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Spagvigven, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Spagvigven's most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Spagvigven's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat lemons.

2. Do not eat spinach.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Gulls are not to be trusted.

5. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.