Wotnurljam is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, cheerful mink.

Wotnurljam created a down quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Wotnurljam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Wotnurljam, she will turn you into a dog.

Wotnurljam's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Wotnurljam's Holy Commandments

1. Never mention frogs.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

3. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

4. Rats are not to be trusted.

5. Do not stand on grass.