Hancabgepkonflapkimtit is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, self-confident clam.

Hancabgepkonflapkimtit created gold four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hancabgepkonflapkimtit, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Hancabgepkonflapkimtit, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Hancabgepkonflapkimtit's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Hancabgepkonflapkimtit's Holy Commandments

1. Tapirs are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.