Tofspag is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, caring naga.

Tofspag created dark matter eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofspag, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Tofspag, she will torture you forever.

Tofspag's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Tofspag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Always pray in complete darkness.

5. Never talk about comets.