Gofpaspag is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, proud bird.

Gofpaspag created the Large Magellanic Cloud eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofpaspag, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gofpaspag, he will turn you into a snail.

Gofpaspag's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Gofpaspag's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Always make sure there are no sheep in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Do not drink alcohol.