Pigtunquag is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, awesome frog.

Pigtunquag created a Higgs boson four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pigtunquag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Pigtunquag, he will attempt to scare you with floods.

Pigtunquag's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Pigtunquag's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Pigtunquag loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not speak about rice.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.