Davpodmot is a god.

He takes the form of a very fat, intelligent bear.

Davpodmot created matter two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Davpodmot, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Davpodmot, he will turn you into a goat.

Davpodmot's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Davpodmot's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about amino acids.

2. Never feed coconuts to squirrels while wearing green tights.

3. Always help sheep in need.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never eat bark.