Bumbapkadrag is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, able crab.

Bumbapkadrag created bats three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bumbapkadrag, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bumbapkadrag, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Bumbapkadrag's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Bumbapkadrag's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Always wear fawn.

5. Run away if nine whales approach from the east.