Pidtaljig is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, all-knowing owl.

Pidtaljig created vertebrates four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pidtaljig, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Pidtaljig, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Pidtaljig's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Pidtaljig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat apples.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Run away from magenta dogs, for they are unholy.