Yammatwik is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, confident octopus.

Yammatwik created the planet Venus two billion years ago.

If you believe in Yammatwik, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Yammatwik, it will turn you into a giant slug.

Yammatwik's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Yammatwik's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Never paint your arms yellow.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not hurt frogs.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.