Xucpogkad is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, prudent grasshopper.

Xucpogkad created the planet Earth nine million years ago.

If you believe in Xucpogkad, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Xucpogkad, she will be mildly annoyed.

Xucpogkad's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Xucpogkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never sing in the presence of otters.

2. Pray towards the east.

3. Do not shave your face.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.