Tafhinsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, conceited dolphin.

Tafhinsaf created the planet Saturn six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tafhinsaf, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tafhinsaf, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Tafhinsaf's most sacred site is Gorslas in Wales.

Tafhinsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tafhinsaf.

2. Retreat if three seals approach from the north.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Always obey Tafhinsaf's priests.

5. Never talk about cell theory.