Pibnarlbapkikflamvon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, impressive hamster.

Pibnarlbapkikflamvon created Africa six million years ago.

If you believe in Pibnarlbapkikflamvon, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Pibnarlbapkikflamvon, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Pibnarlbapkikflamvon's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Pibnarlbapkikflamvon's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Pibnarlbapkikflamvon.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not chop down trees.

4. Do not trade with those who eat onions.

5. Respect your elders.