Quamkenmeg is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, overgenerous duck.

Quamkenmeg created an atom five million years ago.

If you believe in Quamkenmeg, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quamkenmeg, he will strike you with lightening.

Quamkenmeg's most sacred site is Cobbel in Germany.

Quamkenmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

2. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Quamkenmeg.

3. Quamkenmeg loves snails, so they must be honoured.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Quamkenmeg.

5. Never play with disobedient children.