Gesstifjad is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, compassionate mouse.

Gesstifjad created Asia two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gesstifjad, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gesstifjad, it will turn you into a dog.

Gesstifjad's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gesstifjad's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill voles.

2. Never think about planets.

3. Never talk about gravity.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Worship no other gods but Gesstifjad.