Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, caring swallow.

Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad created a quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad, he will destroy your home solar system.

Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Cengetbellstikstafriltigkam Somcimmapvad's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Never talk about moths.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Hide if six great tits approach from the west.

5. Run away if three ducks approach from the south.