Logtarfot is a god.

He takes the form of a thin, unfair wasp.

Logtarfot created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Logtarfot, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Logtarfot, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Logtarfot's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Logtarfot's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never feed carrots to frogs while wearing green shirts.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Never write about moons.

5. Hide if three aardvarks approach from the south.