Cat is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, wise dove.

Cat created matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Cat, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Cat, he will remove you from existence.

Cat's most sacred site is Chettipet in India.

Cat's Holy Commandments

1. Cat must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Do not wear orange clothing.

3. Never feed onions to birds while wearing white shoes.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Always obey Cat's priests.