Mabtinquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, moody goat.

Mabtinquaf created the Small Magellanic Cloud three million years ago.

If you believe in Mabtinquaf, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Mabtinquaf, he will turn you into a snail.

Mabtinquaf's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Mabtinquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Do not hurt whales.

3. Always make sure there are no squirrels in a building before entering it.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Always help mites in need.