Fotvanarm is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, smart donkey.

Fotvanarm created snails seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Fotvanarm, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fotvanarm, she will be very unhappy.

Fotvanarm's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fotvanarm's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Fotvanarm.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Pray towards the north.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never think about galaxies.