Gubgomkantun is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely small, passionate turtle.

Gubgomkantun created water four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gubgomkantun, she will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gubgomkantun, she will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gubgomkantun's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Gubgomkantun's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry dolphins.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear nickel on your body.