Gatgumomt is a god.

It takes the form of a small, omnipotent newt.

Gatgumomt created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Gatgumomt, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Gatgumomt, it will have an extremely low opinion of you.

Gatgumomt's most sacred site is Zlatolist in Bulgaria.

Gatgumomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never eat coconuts.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Always help monkeys.