Tofloopjop is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, duplicitous cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tofloopjop created carbon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofloopjop, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Tofloopjop, it will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Tofloopjop's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Tofloopjop's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Never wear gray shorts.

3. Do not trade with those who eat tomatoes.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Do not drink alcohol.