Bifflabkap is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, proud zebra.

Bifflabkap created a strange quark seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bifflabkap, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Bifflabkap, he will send you a strongly worded letter.

Bifflabkap's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Bifflabkap's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Erect a large lead sculpture of Bifflabkap on top of all buildings.

5. Hide if nine dogs approach from the west.