Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, happy donkey.

Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut created the planet Mars eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut, he will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut's Holy Commandments

1. Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut loves snails, so they must be honoured.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always help eagles.

4. Put Cuddossyarl Yarmonmut first in all things.

5. Always wear purple.