Flapfosspop is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, witty duck.

Flapfosspop created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapfosspop, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Flapfosspop, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Flapfosspop's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Flapfosspop's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Flapfosspop loves sharks, so they must be honoured.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Never sing near dogs.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.