Dissvonfag is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, impressive badger.

Dissvonfag created snails seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Dissvonfag, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dissvonfag, she will send minions to preach to you.

Dissvonfag's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Dissvonfag's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear gray skirts.

2. Retreat if six rats approach from the west.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Always help swans.

5. Do not cook food in pots.