Camzaghatgabhun is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, calm swallow.

Camzaghatgabhun created light nine million years ago.

If you believe in Camzaghatgabhun, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Camzaghatgabhun, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Camzaghatgabhun's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Camzaghatgabhun's Holy Commandments

1. Grasshopers are not to be trusted.

2. Always help badgers in need.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Fast once a month.

5. You must never eat pineapples.