Pakkinkad is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tranquil dryad.

Pakkinkad created the Milkyway five billion years ago.

If you believe in Pakkinkad, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Pakkinkad, he will turn you into a snail.

Pakkinkad's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Pakkinkad's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Always help capybaras.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Never mention birds.