Fasqueegsan is a god.

It takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, ill-tempered tapir.

Fasqueegsan created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fasqueegsan, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Fasqueegsan, it will be very unhappy.

Fasqueegsan's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Fasqueegsan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.