Zatbifvig is a god.

He takes the form of a very heavy, merciful squirrel.

Zatbifvig created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zatbifvig, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Zatbifvig, he will turn you into a goat.

Zatbifvig's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Zatbifvig's Holy Commandments

1. You must pray to Zatbifvig eight times a day.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Never skip in the presence of moths.

5. Respect your elders.