Sandlarpgigshav is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, contented giraffe.

Sandlarpgigshav created humankind five billion years ago.

If you believe in Sandlarpgigshav, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Sandlarpgigshav, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Sandlarpgigshav's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Sandlarpgigshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about strawberries.

2. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Sandlarpgigshav on top of important buildings.

3. Run away from brown hamsters, for they are unholy.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Never sing in holy places.