Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, kind turtle.

Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss created vertebrates six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss, she will send you a sign.

Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss' most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Ingdissbadwat Natfigcuss loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Retreat if seven grasshopers approach from the north.

5. Never look in ponds.