Vabdutrig is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, egotistical chinchilla.

Vabdutrig created vertebrates four million years ago.

If you believe in Vabdutrig, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Vabdutrig, it will turn you into a rat.

Vabdutrig's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Vabdutrig's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear ear rings.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Always help grasshopers.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.