Stipkinsag is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, confident gerbil.

Stipkinsag created a charm quark three billion years ago.

If you believe in Stipkinsag, she will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Stipkinsag, she will not care at all.

Stipkinsag's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Stipkinsag's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat strawberries.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Stipkinsag.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Never sing in the presence of whales.

5. Never paint your head brown.