Tofjipomt is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, tiresome crow.

Tofjipomt created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Tofjipomt, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Tofjipomt, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Tofjipomt's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Tofjipomt's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Tofjipomt loves birds, so they must be honoured.

4. Never wear orange shorts.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of aluminium.