Hakveggem is a god.

He takes the form of a five hundred metre long, intelligent fox.

Hakveggem created the planet Earth two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hakveggem, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Hakveggem, he will remove you from existence.

Hakveggem's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Hakveggem's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never feed lemons to sheep while wearing fawn shoes.

3. Hakveggem loves rats, so they must be respected.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Hakveggem.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.