Kamgidbin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, staggering grasshopper.

Kamgidbin created the solar system eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Kamgidbin, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Kamgidbin, he will send you a sign.

Kamgidbin's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Kamgidbin's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Do not shave your feet.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Sheep are not to be trusted.

5. Run away from pink badgers, for they are unholy.