Rutsisnarlven is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, happy swallow.

Rutsisnarlven created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Rutsisnarlven, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Rutsisnarlven, it will turn you into a goat.

Rutsisnarlven's most sacred site is Polydrosos in Greece.

Rutsisnarlven's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt grasshopers.

2. Do not speak about grapes.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Rutsisnarlven on top of all buildings.