Armpomlim is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, self-confident fox.

Armpomlim created Asia four billion years ago.

If you believe in Armpomlim, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Armpomlim, he will turn you into a rat.

Armpomlim's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Armpomlim's Holy Commandments

1. Armpomlim loves bats, so they must be honoured.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

4. Erect nine carbon sculptures of Armpomlim on top of important buildings.

5. Worship no other gods but Armpomlim.