Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, passionate lobster.

Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon created dark matter four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon, she will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon, she will cry a lot.

Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon's most sacred site is Manja in Madagascar.

Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Your children must be taught to worship Dutmapcemveentapdodquat Rakarngudkon.