Barnfidbug is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, witty tortoise.

Barnfidbug created snails two years ago.

If you believe in Barnfidbug, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Barnfidbug, she will turn you into a hamster.

Barnfidbug's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Barnfidbug's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Do not drink alcohol.

4. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Barnfidbug.

5. Barnfidbug loves sheep, so they must be honoured.