Stikfarquart Rullquagfun is a god.

He takes the form of a four hundred metre long, witty hippopotamus.

Stikfarquart Rullquagfun created humankind seven million years ago.

If you believe in Stikfarquart Rullquagfun, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Stikfarquart Rullquagfun, he will be very sad.

Stikfarquart Rullquagfun's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Stikfarquart Rullquagfun's Holy Commandments

1. Put Stikfarquart Rullquagfun first in all things.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not take Stikfarquart Rullquagfun's name in vain.

4. Pray towards the east.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.