Komcunfen is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, two-faced newt.

Komcunfen created the planet Venus four billion years ago.

If you believe in Komcunfen, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Komcunfen, he will turn you into a slug.

Komcunfen's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Komcunfen's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Komcunfen.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never paint your back brown.

4. Never mention dogs.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate shrews.