Quattonlun is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, kind goose.

Quattonlun created the Large Magellanic Cloud two billion years ago.

If you believe in Quattonlun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quattonlun, it will turn you into a dog.

Quattonlun's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Quattonlun's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

3. Always make sure there are no manatees in a building before entering it.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Never think about the weak nuclear force.