Volbondit is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, pitiless seal.

Volbondit created a Higgs boson eight million years ago.

If you believe in Volbondit, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Volbondit, she will be very unhappy.

Volbondit's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Volbondit's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt whales.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.