Stragpanhapstip is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, tiresome crow.

Stragpanhapstip created oxygen eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Stragpanhapstip, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Stragpanhapstip, it will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Stragpanhapstip's most sacred site is Goat's Hole Cave in England.

Stragpanhapstip's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Run away if four aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Stragpanhapstip.