Febtonkyat Yakyikkim is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, happy hamster.

Febtonkyat Yakyikkim created an electron three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Febtonkyat Yakyikkim, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Febtonkyat Yakyikkim, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Febtonkyat Yakyikkim's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Febtonkyat Yakyikkim's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Respect your elders.

3. Do not wear lead on your body.

4. Hide from violet gulls for they are unholy.

5. Always make sure there are no ants in a building before entering it.