Jatflablarg is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, humorless clam.

Jatflablarg created the planet Earth six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jatflablarg, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Jatflablarg, she will throw large rocks at you.

Jatflablarg's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Jatflablarg's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about asteroids.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

4. Run away if six capybaras approach from the south.

5. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.